Love Me, Not Too Much

When you have moved into a deep relationship with somebody, a great need arises to be alone. You start feeling spent, exhausted and tired - joyously tired, happily tired - but each excitement is exhausting. It was tremendously beautiful to relate, but now you would like to move into aloneness, so that you can again gather yourself together, so that again you can overflow with love, so that again you become rooted in your own being.

In love, you moved into the other's being and lost contact with yourself. You drowned, you were drunk. Now you will need to find yourself again. But when you are alone, you are again creating a need for love. Soon you will be so full that you would like to share, you will be so overflowing that you would like somebody to pour yourself into.

Love arises out of aloneness. Aloneness makes you overfull. Love receives your gifts. Love empties you so that you can become full again. Whenever you are emptied by love, aloneness is there to nourish you, to integrate you. And this is a rhythm.

I am bringing you a new message. Remain choicelessly alert in your life, and become intelligent rather than changing circumstances. Change your psychology, become more intelligent. More intelligence is needed to be blissful! And then you can have aloneness together with relationship.

Make your woman or your man also alert to rhythm. People should be taught that nobody can love 24 hours a day; rest is needed. And nobody can love on order. Love is a spontaneous phenomenon: whenever it happens, it happens, and whenever it doesn't happen, it doesn't. Nothing can be done about it. If you DO anything, you will create a pseudo phenomenon, an act.

Real, intelligent lovers will alert each other to the phenomenon: 'When I want to be alone that doesn't mean that I am rejecting you. In fact, it is because of your love that you have made it possible for me to be alone.'

If your woman wants to be left alone for one night, for a few days, you will not feel hurt. You will not say that you have been rejected. You will respect her decision to be alone for a few days. In fact, you will be happy! Your love was so much that she is feeling empty; now she needs rest to become full again. This is intelligence.